5 Steps: Facing up to Your Bank Balance!

"I don't want to look at my bank balance" is something often heard around young people. But it's not just young people who struggle to check. Only 65% of adults check their bank balance each week. So how can the other 30% do this and why is it important anyway?

Knowing what's your bank account is going through is important. It helps us avoid things like:

• Overdraft charges
• Being unable to pay rent/bills on time
• Having to borrow money
• The scary world of payday loans
• Being in debt

It is well-known that people in debt suffer from more stress, which can lead to things like mental health problems, high blood pressure and a weaker immune system. The more problems you have like this, the more money you need to spend on travel, time off work etc., and it becomes a cycle.

So how can I make this less painful?

It can be hard to check your bank account. Seeing a low number leads to feelings which a lot of people would rather avoid, at least for the time being. But the more you are on top of your bank account, the more you can avoid feelings like dread and anxiety. 

Putting off checking leads to more of these feelings, and although feelings are very valid and ok, it is best to try and foster positive feelings, like empowerment and gratitude. So start today if you can. 

Practical tips:

1) Calculate in and out-goings.

So you've decided you're ready to check. First it might be a good idea to get a sheet of paper and write on the left your 'in' payments, and on the right your 'out' payments. It is a good idea to do this for a month worth of commitments. If you are a student, do this as your student loan arrives and calculate for the term.

You can also see whether medium term you need to look at increasing your hours at work to sustain yourself, or whether you are working enough that you can save some money.

2) Get comfortable.

Personally I like to do this in a coffee shop or somewhere similar. Somewhere where I can have a cup of coffee in hand as I sort things out. I also like to give myself a lot of time for this, and print out a statement from the machine at the bank, so it's current.

Take a deep breath, remind yourself that everything is ok. You are safe. You are supported and you have people who will support you and look after you. If you don't have anyone or are going to really struggle, there are always options of some kind. Keep reminding yourself of this. Repeating an affirmation in your mind can help, such as 'I am supported'.

3) Take a look

Then, when you feel safe and supported, have a look at your balance. Be prepared for any feelings that might come up. They are all valid. Even if it's excitement because you have more than you thought. If you feel sad, give yourself a minute to process it. Ground yourself to keep yourself in the situation. This is something you can cope with.

4) Adjust your spending

Calculate how much money you can spend per day, when you've taken out rent, bills, food and all other essential things. You may choose to include travel in this if you get the bus a lot. Be realistic at this point. If you know you get the bus, incorporate it in your essentials budget. If you get a cup of coffee every day, don't pretend you don't - add it to the budget!

Then calculate your left over money for the time period, and divide it by the number of days so that you have a set amount per day you can spend. This might be on social plans, birthdays, snacks, e.t.c. Now write it down clearly, and put it up somewhere - maybe your fridge or a notice board.

If you find that you do not have much money left to do things, consider cutting your essentials budget. For instance, could you walk to work instead of getting the bus? Could you cycle? Calculate the feasibility of different options and see. You could also look at things like buying cheaper foods or shopping at a different supermarket.

Here you could also look at borrowing more money if you need to, or paying back your overdraft gradually. You could also think about longer-term things like cheaper accommodation.

5) Congratulate yourself

It's important to acknowledge that you've just done something really difficult! Treat yourself with your money for that day. Having been at many places on the spectrum, I'd recommend a DVD from CEX or craft materials from Poundland if you're at the low end. You'd be surprised where you can cut costs but still be treated!

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Now enjoy your new feelings of empowerment about your money budget, and feel grateful for how much better you feel now that you're on top of things. If you're feeling inspired having read this, let me know by sharing, commenting or liking the post!

Image 1 source here
Image 2 source here

How Do You Set Up For Meditating?

I was reading The Power of Meditation by Sharon Salzberg (a really great introduction to meditation - available here) when I came across her advice for a meditating posture. For many it is easier to start with a specific posture, one of which I will outline in this post. 

Hint: it is not the position this image shows!

1) Setting

Put together a meditation area. Make it a place where you feel comfortable, warm enough and safe and where you won't be disturbed (e.g. in your bedroom). This is my meditation area in my room:

I have some favourite, meaningful cushions with a book about meditation I'm currently reading. I also have a rose quartz stone which was a gift. According to this website, rose quartz is the crystal of unconditional love, compassion, peace and more. 

It might be nice to put some books, stones, quotes and signs in your meditation area. You could write some affirmations on paper and stick them up for you to meditate on (I'll write a future post about meditating on affirmations). Make it yours - in this space you will be doing a lot of self discovery!

2) Legs

Sitting on cushions on the floor, or in a chair if you feel more comfortable, gently cross your legs. Salzberg says (and I'd agree) to cross them at the ankles and swap your legs around if you get a 'dead leg' or pins and needles! To make it more comfortable, sit raised above the ground. You can buy a special meditation cushion for this (the pictured one is available here).

You might also like to have a blanket nearby or on your legs before you practice.

3) Arms

Your arms can go in different positions - people have all sorts of preferences. Up until recently I liked to let my arms relax, with my hands face down on my thighs. Recently, I have come to like Salzberg's meditation posture, which is shown here (image from here):

So your right hand is cupped in your left hand and your thumbs are touching. 

4) Back and neck

Keep your back straight and face straight ahead. This keeps the body nice and open for easier breathing and keeps you awake if you start the meditation feeling slightly drowsy! To keep your back straight, push your shoulders back slightly and chest forwards, keeping comfortable.

5) Face

The main thing with the face is to keep it relaxed. Salzberg suggests that your teeth should be slightly apart and your lips should fall apart just enough to admit a single grain of rice. Keep your jaw nice and relaxed and your face.

Then all you have to do is switch on a guided meditation or follow your breath (I'll cover following the breath shortly in another post). Please like, share or comment if you think others might benefit!

Image from here

Tips for Guided Visualisations

In my last inner child blog post (here), I explored the benefits of making friends with your inner child. The first step was to connect with him or her. One of the ways I talked about was using visualisation to connect, which I will explore in more detail here.

A guided visualisation based around the inner child might sound a bit scary. Firstly, it is very safe. To exit a hypnosis or visualisation all you have to do is open your eyes. If you find it emotionally overwhelming it might be helpful to ground yourself if you find yourself needing to finish the visualisation suddenly (methods here).

Just like a guided meditation, guided visualisations can be found in great numbers to download online. They often start with the same grounding processes: finding a centre point such as the breath to work with, relaxing the body and listening to the guide's voice. They then differ by telling you to imagine a scene, e.g. walking through the woods.

Every visualisation is different, and every visualiser's vision is different. Some tips for visualisation:

• Try not to worry if you can't immediately imagine a place. If the guide says to imagine a wood and your vision of the woods keeps changing, go with the first image that comes to mind. The actual image is not wholly important, because it will develop and you will find that whatever image you chose will come to have meaning.

• Let your mind go deep into your imagination! If you're imagining a fire-breathing dragon swooping down from above, feel free to keep on imagining. There are no set rules to visualisation and the more you imagine the more you can find meaning from.

Here is a guided inner child meditation for you to have a go with. Please feel free to leave feedback as to how you found the visualising experience!

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Why to Get Planning a Trip to your Local National Trust Property!

I was inspired to write this after visiting my local national trust property (Ightam Mote), which I visited today. I came away feeling really spiritually at peace, and began to wonder why that building has such an effect on me. 

So this is the building which has such a peaceful effect on me. It is set in beautiful gardens where I have visited a series of times over my life:

Through all the ups and downs in my life, this place has been preserved and has stayed exactly the same. The bricks on the walls surrounding the mote have kept the same texture, the creaky wooden floors inside the property have made the same sounds as my feet have walked across it, and the light shines in and creates shadows through the same windows. 

This timeless, unchanging aspect of the building reminds me of nature and why I find it grounding. No matter what is happening in my life or in my head, nature remains constant. It is extremely reliable, and the way I think and feel when looking at it changes but can always bring me back to my centre point. 

Nature is also generally very well-loved, and looking at the careful placement of flowers in gardens  reminds me of the amazingness of love. How it is always around in some capacity and can be sought out when needed. Walking around Ightam Mote, this same sense of love for the building can be detected as you go past light sensors, ’no touch’ signs and doting volunteers.

“We shape our buildings; thereafter they shape us.” 

- Winston Churchill

Interestingly, Churchill himself found Ightam Mote to be a spiritual retreat, and after going through a difficult time in his life he came to visit and painted this picture, which hangs at the property today:

So even though National Trust properties might remind you of boring days as a child, it might be spiritually refreshing to spend a while looking around one, on your own or with someone you love. If you’re lucky enough to live near Ightam Mote, even better!

Feel free to share and/or comment if you found this interesting or insightful :)

Image 1 from here

Ightam Mote's website here

Ways to Ground Yourself

What is grounding?

This website describes grounding as:

'a technique that helps keep someone in the present. They help reorient a person to the here-and-now and in reality. Grounding skills can be helpful in managing overhelming feelings or intense anxiety. They help someone to regain their mental focus from an often intensely emotional state.'

When your mind's getting carried off by your thoughts, you can spend whole minutes in your mind instead of where you actually are. A good way of coming back to the present moment is by grounding yourself. It is a form of mindfulness where textures, smells, sights, sounds and tastes can bring you back into the present fast. 

There are a number of techniques for grounding yourself. Some of my favourites:

• Rubbing your hands together.
• Taking a deep breath or several.
• Putting both of your feet on the floor.
• Rubbing your arms. 
• A sensory box (this website has some ideas).

Also popular is the 54321 game (see here):

1. Name 5 things you can see in the room.
2. Name 4 things you can feel (e.g. chair on my back).
3. Name 3 things you can hear right now.
4. Name 2 things you can smell right now (or things you like the smell of)
5. Name 1 good thing about yourself.

Grounding is less about clearing the mind and more about noticing when the mind is getting carried away and bringing it back to where you are. It is also a great way to connect with nature and as the word 'grounding' suggests, many people feel their most grounded when they are with nature - walking barefoot in grass or holding their arms around a tree. 

I'd encourage you to share your experiences in the comment section :)

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EFT: The Releasing of Feelings

EFT stands for emotional freedom technique. It is hard to explain how it works but it is useful to give it a go if you are experiencing strong feelings in your body. This is something I was introduced to over two years ago and honestly don't use all that often, but tonight I gave it a go and I think I may do more often. 

I am also an advocate for feeling our feelings, so I use EFT more as a mindfulness technique. To feel the feeling in my body, ground myself through the tapping itself and also to practice self-love because I enjoy the feeling of treating myself. However, I'd encourage you to give it a go and see what meaning you can find in it for yourself :)

Give the video a watch here!