Take Your Lunch Break! Here's Why.

I am back from Blackpool and back on the blog, though I'm off for a birthday camping trip for the next couple of days so my blog won't be fully up and running again until Friday. Thanks for staying around and reading!

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Sometimes the idea of a lunch break at work can stretch out ahead of you. You've been given an hour and you wonder whether to take the whole hour or wander back to get on with your work. Whether it's to get home earlier or for other reasons, in this post I'll explore why you should take the full time! 

Why do some people cut it short?

This varies from person to person. I have known people who take their lunch break late because they want to get home at the end of the day faster. I've also known people who had psychological reasons for working straight through the break. Reasons vary but it is more common than you'd think.

Often lunch breaks can be spent in an unhelpful way, so I'll outline some reasons and also some things you could do to fully enjoy your lunch breaks and even enjoy your day more!

Why should I take the full hour?

1) Self respect and boundaries.

Someone who is willing to work through a break is more likely to be given the odd extra task, maybe because they don't seem to mind.

Putting the boundary in place that you expect and will take your full break will make people aware that you have firm boundaries which you respect, and in turn these boundaries will receive respect from other people.

2) Replenishing your body.

Taking your full break each day allows you to plan your meals so that they are as nutritious as possible. If you are sat at your desk for the entire day snacking, you could end up eating in a way which isn't tuned to what your body needs.

3) Replenishing your mind.

In the same way, a lunch break is a good opportunity to nourish your soul. A work break meditation helps ease the stresses of the day, ground you and prepare you to have a mindful and healthy afternoon ahead. Here is an example of a meditation you could use:

4) Better productivity.

Having better nutrition of your body and mind helps us to feel more motivated for the rest of the day. It could also lessen your brain's need for distractions, meaning your work day ahead is more focused and you are more efficient. You might even end up leaving early after all!


5) A chance to connect with colleagues.

Our lunch break is also a great chance to connect with colleagues. People have different views on whether to make friends at work, but our human need for connection means our day goes that little bit easier if we feel we can connect with those around us there.

Being able to discuss your weekend is one little reason to feel some motivation for going into work on the Monday. As Oliver Burkeman says (here):

"Sure, we're all treading the same bit of carpet for eight hours a day, but even that's preferable to each treading our own, alone."

So take your breaks! They are important for all sorts of reasons and help our work to be more enjoyable, efficient and connected. And as always, feel free to comment, like or share this post if you feel it is useful for you or others.

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How Do You Set Up For Meditating?

I was reading The Power of Meditation by Sharon Salzberg (a really great introduction to meditation - available here) when I came across her advice for a meditating posture. For many it is easier to start with a specific posture, one of which I will outline in this post. 

Hint: it is not the position this image shows!

1) Setting

Put together a meditation area. Make it a place where you feel comfortable, warm enough and safe and where you won't be disturbed (e.g. in your bedroom). This is my meditation area in my room:

I have some favourite, meaningful cushions with a book about meditation I'm currently reading. I also have a rose quartz stone which was a gift. According to this website, rose quartz is the crystal of unconditional love, compassion, peace and more. 

It might be nice to put some books, stones, quotes and signs in your meditation area. You could write some affirmations on paper and stick them up for you to meditate on (I'll write a future post about meditating on affirmations). Make it yours - in this space you will be doing a lot of self discovery!

2) Legs

Sitting on cushions on the floor, or in a chair if you feel more comfortable, gently cross your legs. Salzberg says (and I'd agree) to cross them at the ankles and swap your legs around if you get a 'dead leg' or pins and needles! To make it more comfortable, sit raised above the ground. You can buy a special meditation cushion for this (the pictured one is available here).

You might also like to have a blanket nearby or on your legs before you practice.

3) Arms

Your arms can go in different positions - people have all sorts of preferences. Up until recently I liked to let my arms relax, with my hands face down on my thighs. Recently, I have come to like Salzberg's meditation posture, which is shown here (image from here):

So your right hand is cupped in your left hand and your thumbs are touching. 

4) Back and neck

Keep your back straight and face straight ahead. This keeps the body nice and open for easier breathing and keeps you awake if you start the meditation feeling slightly drowsy! To keep your back straight, push your shoulders back slightly and chest forwards, keeping comfortable.

5) Face

The main thing with the face is to keep it relaxed. Salzberg suggests that your teeth should be slightly apart and your lips should fall apart just enough to admit a single grain of rice. Keep your jaw nice and relaxed and your face.

Then all you have to do is switch on a guided meditation or follow your breath (I'll cover following the breath shortly in another post). Please like, share or comment if you think others might benefit!

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How Meditation Could Help Your Grades

An update: I would like to do some Q+A posts with questions from my regular readers! If you have a question you'd like me to have a go at answering, please send it to me at this email address. Or put a comment on a post. All Q+A posts will be anonymous.

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Like many students I am in the middle of revising for my summer exams. And earlier I was sitting revising when I realised that revision is not all that different from meditating itself. In this blog post I'll expand on that and then go onto a few general reasons why meditating is great for students.

When I am revising, what I want to focus on is learning the material. Distractions which come up for me include my phone going off, accidentally finding myself scrolling on Facebook, or thinking about my next meal.

Similarly, in meditation, we also have one thing we want to focus on. For instance, in a breathing meditation it is our breath. Distractions which come up include trails of thought, worries about how well the meditation is going and wondering how close to the end of the 20 minutes we are.

So given the similarities, it sounds fitting that someone who meditates is better able to focus on their work without succumbing to distractions. But here's some actual scientific evidence showing that students who meditate have been shown to learn better:

1. More likely to study something they enjoy.
   
   This is one of my own thoughts about meditation for students. When we meditate we learn a lot about ourselves - our feelings about things, our most common thought patterns, etc., and by getting to know ourselves we are more likely to know what we want to study.
   
   Students who are studying a subject they enjoy are 'likely to perform better', according to Charlie Ball, editor of What Do Graduates Do?
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2. More present.
   
   According to a study (here), African American students who engaged in 15 minute meditations sessions at home and school every day for 4 months were less likely to show absenteeism than the control group. Studies show (here) that absenteeism leads to worse performance in studies.
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3. Reduced testing stress.
   
   Less stress on the day leads to a clearer head, and this study (here) showed that 64 medical students who participated in deep breathing meditation exercises experienced:
• Decreased test anxiety
• Decreased self doubt
• Increased concentration
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4. Helps you further down the line.
   
   In the same sample of medical students, those who participated in the meditation exercises claimed that they felt meditation would help them in their future jobs as physicians. 

As if those reasons weren't enough, students who tried meditation regularly have been shown in all sorts of studies (one of them here) to have grade improvements.

So next time you're setting your alarm to get up for a lecture or exam, consider setting it 20 minutes earlier to try meditating. Alternatively, try meditating before bed - you could even try my very own bedtime meditation (here). Good luck!

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Free Sleep Meditation!

To celebrate 1000 viewers of my blog, I have created a free sleep meditation! Now it is recorded in my own voice so prepare for this to feel slightly weird if you know me in person..!

Thanks for all your views which have enabled me to invest a little more in the blog :)

What I suggest you do to go along with the sleep meditation:

• When you're ready to go to sleep, make sure you've done everything you need to do (I've covered this in the video).
• Put the phone face down to keep the light from disturbing your zen zone.
• And play!
• Your alarm will go off come the morning and you will hopefully drift off to sleep towards the end of the video.

I think it sounds best through headphones but that choice is up to you! 

Leave any comments etc if you found this useful :) I want to connect with my readers!

Tips for Guided Visualisations

In my last inner child blog post (here), I explored the benefits of making friends with your inner child. The first step was to connect with him or her. One of the ways I talked about was using visualisation to connect, which I will explore in more detail here.

A guided visualisation based around the inner child might sound a bit scary. Firstly, it is very safe. To exit a hypnosis or visualisation all you have to do is open your eyes. If you find it emotionally overwhelming it might be helpful to ground yourself if you find yourself needing to finish the visualisation suddenly (methods here).

Just like a guided meditation, guided visualisations can be found in great numbers to download online. They often start with the same grounding processes: finding a centre point such as the breath to work with, relaxing the body and listening to the guide's voice. They then differ by telling you to imagine a scene, e.g. walking through the woods.

Every visualisation is different, and every visualiser's vision is different. Some tips for visualisation:

• Try not to worry if you can't immediately imagine a place. If the guide says to imagine a wood and your vision of the woods keeps changing, go with the first image that comes to mind. The actual image is not wholly important, because it will develop and you will find that whatever image you chose will come to have meaning.

• Let your mind go deep into your imagination! If you're imagining a fire-breathing dragon swooping down from above, feel free to keep on imagining. There are no set rules to visualisation and the more you imagine the more you can find meaning from.

Here is a guided inner child meditation for you to have a go with. Please feel free to leave feedback as to how you found the visualising experience!

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6 Myths About Meditation.

Today I signed up for meditation teacher training! So I thought I'd share a little on my blog about six common myths about meditation:

1. 'My mind's just too busy to meditate'
Meditation is perfect for people who can't seem to clear their mind! Not just because advanced meditators might find it easier to clear their mind, but because every human brain is busy, and that is what meditation works with. It is about learning when the mind is going off on track, or off on a tangent, and bringing it back to a centre point. The more you think this happens, the more you have to work with!

2. 'It takes years of practice to reap the benefits'
The most experienced meditators come back to meditation for the benefit it provides day-to-day, rather than an accumulative build up. You can start feeling the benefits during your first meditation - someone who has just started finding their feet in the practice receives many more benefits than a person with the most vast meditating experience who is not practicing.

3. I don't have enough time

This video is proof that you can bring meditation into your life in just two minute bursts if you really feel that's all you have time for! Longer practices can easily be slotted into an adapted routine - you could get up 10 minutes earlier, or you can even do a sleep meditation as you are falling asleep!

4. It's for the religious
The only difference between you and a deeply religious person is your beliefs. The religious person still has the same skeleton, the same bodily functions, probably the same material things. As long as you are able to be aware of your body in some capacity (for instance, being aware of your breath), you can meditate just as rewardingly as someone with religious beliefs!

5. I tried it once and it wasn't for me
How good meditation feels varies hugely between practices. There might have been circumstances which meant you didn't have a great practice - all sorts of things can affect it. I'd advise to keep trying different meditation techniques (different guided meditations or different teachers) until you feel comfortable in the class. Just looking at this article shows that a part of you is intrigued! 

6. I can't sit cross legged
Meditation can be done in any comfortable position - one of my favourite positions is lying down in bed! 

“Meditation is realizing and expanding your inner beauty in every direction.” 

― Amit Ray

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Ways to Ground Yourself

What is grounding?

This website describes grounding as:

'a technique that helps keep someone in the present. They help reorient a person to the here-and-now and in reality. Grounding skills can be helpful in managing overhelming feelings or intense anxiety. They help someone to regain their mental focus from an often intensely emotional state.'

When your mind's getting carried off by your thoughts, you can spend whole minutes in your mind instead of where you actually are. A good way of coming back to the present moment is by grounding yourself. It is a form of mindfulness where textures, smells, sights, sounds and tastes can bring you back into the present fast. 

There are a number of techniques for grounding yourself. Some of my favourites:

• Rubbing your hands together.
• Taking a deep breath or several.
• Putting both of your feet on the floor.
• Rubbing your arms. 
• A sensory box (this website has some ideas).

Also popular is the 54321 game (see here):

1. Name 5 things you can see in the room.
2. Name 4 things you can feel (e.g. chair on my back).
3. Name 3 things you can hear right now.
4. Name 2 things you can smell right now (or things you like the smell of)
5. Name 1 good thing about yourself.

Grounding is less about clearing the mind and more about noticing when the mind is getting carried away and bringing it back to where you are. It is also a great way to connect with nature and as the word 'grounding' suggests, many people feel their most grounded when they are with nature - walking barefoot in grass or holding their arms around a tree. 

I'd encourage you to share your experiences in the comment section :)

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Four Steps Towards Writing an Affirmation

I'm going to do a post about the usefulness of affirmations and some of my favourites tomorrow. For now, a good way to introduce yourself to affirmations is to jump in the deep end and make one up!

Steps towards writing an affirmation:

1. Decide on the subject of your affirmation.

Just as was explained in the universe post (here), if you think about the things you want in your life often, they are more likely to come to you. You can write an affirmation about anything. Some examples:

• Bringing money into your life.
• Having positive relationships.
• Fostering self love.

If after deciding the subject you decide you would rather have a ready-made affirmation, search on the internet for 'affirmations about relationships' etc and you can find some great ones. The world's largest online collection is here.

2. Decide the tense.

Affirmations work very well in the present tense. 'I am learning to accept myself' connects you to the present moment and empowers you in it. 

Future tense can also work really well, especially if you have a big event coming up or if you have a long term goal. It can inspire hope, faith and confidence in the present moment for the future.

3. Make it positive.

A positive affirmation works better than a negative one. For example, if your desire is to do well at a job interview and answer the questions well, you could phrase this in two ways:

- 'I find it easy to talk about myself at interviews'.

- 'I will not dry up during this interview'.

The second affirmation here brings to mind drying up, and focusing on that inspires fear rather than empowering you. This is why it's great to stay on the positive side of a situation in an affirmation.

4. Keep it snappy.

A short and snappy affirmation is easier to repeat to yourself (more to be covered in the future post about affirmations) and meditate on. 

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5 ways to keep your relationship spiritually healthy

1. Gratitude

Most couples have been there. Every little thing about your partner is annoying you and no matter what they do it’s hard for them to get back into your good books. You’re feeling grouchy and are struggling to feel that unconditional love for this person.

This is something that can be tackled by a really simple practice. Before bed, as you’re both laying warm and cosy under the covers, think back over the day to all the little things your partner has done for you over the day. It might be something little like taking out the bin or making you a coffee, or sometimes a bigger thing like surprising you or buying you a present.

Then say this gratitude list out loud. ‘Thank you for all the things you’ve done for me today – for making me breakfast, for going for a walk with me…’ and continue until you feel like you’ve expressed ample gratitude. You could make it easier at first by saying three things every day to get into the habit so you don’t find yourself drying up!

This will help your partner to feel appreciated and perhaps more importantly will allow you to appreciate how much your partner does for you every day. It will also help to foster gratitude more in the moment – you might find yourself thinking ‘oh I’ll put that on my gratitude list for later’ and feeling grateful, and it will probably extend to other people and things in your life, leading to more inner contentment and less of a need for more.

2. Meditation

If both of you are willing to, meditation can be lovely to do as a couple. Or if one of you likes meditation and the other doesn’t, the one who doesn’t could just have some quiet time to chill while the other person meditates.

For those who do meditate, it can be hard to incorporate it into a routine. Days can pass before you realise you haven’t meditated for a week or more, so planning it with another person, just as a gym buddy would help someone go to the gym, can really help you meditate. And who better than the person you probably text the most?

Another way is to download a meditation app (such as Headspace) onto your phone, where the meditations are ordered. They also have cool animations to illustrate their concepts, and have kind of ‘quests’ where you get further meditations for doing the first ten. It brings more excitement into meditation and leaves you with lots of inner serenity.

3. Time apart

Now you might be thinking something like ‘hang on, why’s it so important to be focusing on things like meditation where it’s about bringing myself wellness? I feel great when I’m with my partner – why do we have to be doing these things?’

Well, this is a theory which also means spending time apart can be a great idea. You need to focus on yourself. Remember back to that time when you first met your partner? You were probably alone and had probably been doing lots of alone things to maintain your inner sanity. This was the person your partner was attracted to and fell in love with.

When we get together with a partner and spend lots of time with them, often we change our behaviours. We reduce the time we spend doing the things we used to enjoy doing alone – like art, colouring in, writing, whatever floats our creative boat.

This can mean that our best self (our personal self, not including our partner!), is slightly or even severely compromised, and we think and feel differently as a result. We want to be our best selves so that we can enjoy our partner for who they are and they can enjoy us for who we truly are. By spending time apart to do your own thing, you will be more yourselves and there is more of each other for each of you to enjoy spending time with.

4. Boundaries

Telling your partner your hopes, fears and secrets is very healthy. After all, being vulnerable and telling someone about yourself is what brings intimacy. But there is a very important line, or boundary, which can be hard to figure out.

Say you express a worry to your partner; ‘I’m scared we won’t have enough money to pay the rent’. This is a very rational worry, but the rational response would be to plan with the money you do have to ensure you can pay the rent. If you don’t do the planning, the worry will stay.

Say your partner responds: ‘I don’t like it when you worry, I’ll stay with you for the day and we can chill out and watch TV’. Now this is very kind, and you might look forward to the day with them, but it doesn’t lead to a proper solution.

You might find yourself subconsciously not sorting out the problem so that your partner treats you specially like this more often. Then you’ll end up with bigger worries later down the line. Expressing worries for unhealthy reasons, and not dealing with your worries yourself, steps over a boundary which needs to be kept to keep a healthy relationship.

5. Encouragement

Lastly, encouraging each other to focus on your own wellbeing is vital. You’re far more likely to be the best versions of yourselves, and far more likely to foster deep love for each other which will last. The days of friends thinking your boyfriend is ‘bad for you’ will be over as you outwardly radiate inner content and happiness, and you’ll only look forward in your relationship.