3 Ways to Stop Comparing Yourself to Others

Comparing ourselves to others comes pretty naturally to most of us. With our young lives often being dominated by achievement at school, sports clubs or music, it is no wonder that the desire to be the best sometimes follows us through to adulthood.

Why not compare?

Comparing ourselves is, according to Sonya Derian (link here), a faulty logic. Sonya uses the example of an introvert. Say an introvert, who feels energised after periods of solitude, compares herself to an outgoing extrovert who gets bored spending an hour alone.

Any conclusions the introvert would come to would be irrational and illogical because everyone is different. We are all on our own paths, which might start more converged (e.g. at primary school), but as we grow older we diverge and become more and more varied.

This variation is part of the beauty of humans. It's the reason why you can go to one friend for a great night out and might choose another for a deep and meaningful conversation about life. We all have different strengths and weaknesses in different situations.

Further, we often find ourselves comparing ourselves on our worst days to others on their best. This is inaccurate because we can't get into the minds of others like we can ourselves. This quote captures this conundrum really well:

"The reason we struggle with insecurity is because we compare our behind-the-scenes with everyone else's highlight reel" - Steven Furtick

Comparison vs inspiration

You might be thinking, 'what about that actress I follow on Instagram?'. You might think someone is great because they seem to have a lot of fun and have qualities you admire. Provided this comes from a healthy place of wanting to empower yourself to have these qualities, this can be healthy. 

But if you find yourself gazing at 'fitspo' ten times a day and feeling guilty that you haven't got the post-gym glow that fitfam101 has right now, then read on!

How can I stop?

1. Identifying thoughts
   
   When you find yourself comparing yourself to someone else, take a mental note of what your thoughts are. Becoming aware is the first step to change.
2. Gratitude
   
   Often these thoughts come from a place of feeling like you aren't enough as you are. Focus on gratitude and write down some things you have which you are grateful for. Remember, that person you're comparing yourself to might be comparing themselves to someone with an even better car - comparison creates a moving goal post.
3. Empower yourself
   
   If there is something you consistently feel is an issue for you, consider making a change. If many of your comparisons come from not liking your own circumstances, see how you can appreciate yours more or make a change. 

Freebie

I have put together a chart which you can print (link here) and use to help yourself to stop comparing. It also has some handy examples for you to follow so you can start empowering yourself.

Thanks for reading! Let me know what you think by sending a comment on the box on the side of my blog - you can also like or share my posts easily :)

Image source here

Take Your Lunch Break! Here's Why.

I am back from Blackpool and back on the blog, though I'm off for a birthday camping trip for the next couple of days so my blog won't be fully up and running again until Friday. Thanks for staying around and reading!

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Sometimes the idea of a lunch break at work can stretch out ahead of you. You've been given an hour and you wonder whether to take the whole hour or wander back to get on with your work. Whether it's to get home earlier or for other reasons, in this post I'll explore why you should take the full time! 

Why do some people cut it short?

This varies from person to person. I have known people who take their lunch break late because they want to get home at the end of the day faster. I've also known people who had psychological reasons for working straight through the break. Reasons vary but it is more common than you'd think.

Often lunch breaks can be spent in an unhelpful way, so I'll outline some reasons and also some things you could do to fully enjoy your lunch breaks and even enjoy your day more!

Why should I take the full hour?

1) Self respect and boundaries.

Someone who is willing to work through a break is more likely to be given the odd extra task, maybe because they don't seem to mind.

Putting the boundary in place that you expect and will take your full break will make people aware that you have firm boundaries which you respect, and in turn these boundaries will receive respect from other people.

2) Replenishing your body.

Taking your full break each day allows you to plan your meals so that they are as nutritious as possible. If you are sat at your desk for the entire day snacking, you could end up eating in a way which isn't tuned to what your body needs.

3) Replenishing your mind.

In the same way, a lunch break is a good opportunity to nourish your soul. A work break meditation helps ease the stresses of the day, ground you and prepare you to have a mindful and healthy afternoon ahead. Here is an example of a meditation you could use:

4) Better productivity.

Having better nutrition of your body and mind helps us to feel more motivated for the rest of the day. It could also lessen your brain's need for distractions, meaning your work day ahead is more focused and you are more efficient. You might even end up leaving early after all!


5) A chance to connect with colleagues.

Our lunch break is also a great chance to connect with colleagues. People have different views on whether to make friends at work, but our human need for connection means our day goes that little bit easier if we feel we can connect with those around us there.

Being able to discuss your weekend is one little reason to feel some motivation for going into work on the Monday. As Oliver Burkeman says (here):

"Sure, we're all treading the same bit of carpet for eight hours a day, but even that's preferable to each treading our own, alone."

So take your breaks! They are important for all sorts of reasons and help our work to be more enjoyable, efficient and connected. And as always, feel free to comment, like or share this post if you feel it is useful for you or others.

Image from here