When Apathy Takes Hold: 6 Tips

You get out of bed. Thoughts about the day ahead fail to cause a single emotion in your body. The hunger in your belly prompts you to get out of bed, and as you pour milk onto your cereal, you glance out of the window at the sky and the trees and wonder why you're feeling so... apathetic.

As defined on this website, apathy is:

"the absence of caring. It's a lack of desire to engage in activities, make changes, or find crave anything positive."

Apathy can strike at any time, without warning, or can build up gradually over time. So what causes it?

• Emotional fatigue.
  If you have been under high, consistent stress for a long time, your emotional system can start to feel worn out or burnt out. As muscles get tired, emotions can go numb. 
• Lack of enjoyment.
  If you haven't gone out and had fun for a while, or if your thoughts when out have been clouded by anxieties and stresses, this can build up into apathy. 
• Low serotonin.
  It's difficult to say whether or not apathy causes low serotonin or whether low serotonin is the cause, but often when we're apathetic our serotonin is off-balance. 

Sound like you? Luckily there's a few ways you can improve things and get yourself feeling again. 

1. Spend time with friends.
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   Having a strong support network is really important with apathy. When you feel apathetic you can feel stressed about having apathy itself. It can make you panic - when will you feel normal again? In moments of panic it's important to have people around you.
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   Being with friends can also help you to ground yourself. Doing things you like with them can bring you back to yourself and remind yourself of the things you do enjoy, even if they're not so enjoyable right now.
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2. Look at your other symptoms.
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   Are you well generally? Ask yourself questions - are you sleeping well? Are you eating well? Have you put on or lost a lot of weight recently? You may be suffering with depression or anxiety, or even malnutrition. These things can be helped with a visit to the GP or a counsellor.
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3. Do things!
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   When struck by apathy it can be easy to lose days or weeks to this feeling of non-feeling. Get yourself out of bed, eat, have a shower, watch a TV programme, do your food shopping. Anything which gets you out of the house and having some structure can help you to at least feel more human again.
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4. Keep a journal..
   Even if it says 'I'm still in this fog' for days on end, some feelings might come about and you might get somewhere towards the root of your problem. It also helps with structure. Journalling is often the first thing to go when I feel a bit apathetic, but it helps so much!
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5. Exercise.
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   Though I wouldn't condone going to the gym for hours and hours, a walk or a dance in your room can help give your neurotransmitters (like serotonin) a boost. It can also be a good distraction if you're suffering with depression, anxiety or acting out through other mental health problems.
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6. Be patient with yourself.
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   Apathy ends. It might not feel like it when you're in the middle of it, but it is sometimes a process we just need to get through. It can teach us things about ourselves and can be worth sticking through. Remind yourself of this as often as you can.

Image from here

Surviving Freshers If You're Not There

I have taken a little blogging break to focus a bit more on myself and my own personal growth, but here is my first blog back - based on freshers.

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As someone who has 'fallen behind' in the educational system a couple of times, I wanted to give some advice on surviving (and thriving) at what can be a difficult time of year!

Does the following list sound familiar? 

1) Comparing 

When friends start posting pictures of themselves having fun at freshers in their new halls with new friends, do you find yourself comparing? When I left uni I could barely look at my Facebook news feed without feeling sadness and inadequacy. 

I even felt guilty for feeling so sad about my friends having fun. It was a dark time full of comparisons. What I was doing seemed so inferior to the fun and life usefulness of uni. 

2) 'What ifs'

'What if I'd just not taken a gap year?', 'what if I'd worked harder?' and 'what if I'd made the best friends ever if I'd just gone this year?' might all be questions circling in your head. Everyone's reasons for going to uni or not are different and personal, but it can be particularly hard if it wasn't exactly your choice. 

If you haven't gone because your grades weren't enough, or if you need to redo year 13, or if you have been advised by medical professionals to leave it a year, your head might be filled with these 'what if?' questions. 

3) Placing judgements on yourself 

Judgements on yourself are all-too-common in situations where you feel left behind. Thoughts we have about ourselves can be really automatic and unnoticed - thoughts like 'I'm such an idiot' can be so self conscious that we barely notice them, but they're still there. 

4) Loneliness/isolation

As a result of a large amount of our friends departing for uni, we can find our support network is quite depleted, or sometimes non-existent aside from our families. This can be a really lonely time. 

You might've noticed a common theme among the previous list. Your friends going to uni and being at freshers has become a reflection on you and your abilities. This isn't good for self-esteem, which luckily can be built up in quite a few ways by some simple changes:

1) Less social media

It's tempting to look, but it might be a good idea to take some time away from social media. Maybe just focus on your own posts. Leave those lists of recent updates on Snapchat untouched. If you feel you need to be on it, think about things you could post rather than looking at other peoples' posts.

2) Support network

If a lot of your friends have left, focus on making new friends. Part of having a support network is having people you can see face to face and speak to - do not try to convince yourself that having friends miles away who you only see at Christmas, Easter and Summer is enough. 

Having a support network is not just about friends. It can include seeing your GP for physical or mental health problems, having a therapist if you feel you need one, or if you are redoing a year at school it could include a teacher or tutor. 

In terms of making and maintaining friendships, this website has some good advice. Maintaining friendships is as important as making them - so make time for this in your life.

3) Recognise the benefits of working through this.

It's important to not forget that this 'left behind' feeling can happen to all of us, all through life. It is not unique to when your friends are at freshers. This can be a depressing thought, but also quite empowering. If you can get through this in a healthy way, then when your friends are getting married, having kids etc, if you feel left behind you will know how to cope healthily. 

4) Enjoy yourself!

Spend time enjoying yourself, whether this means getting active, shopping or relaxing in bed, dedicate time to yourself (and lots of it). Remind yourself of why you chose not to go to uni this year, or the benefits of not being at uni. Building yourself up and your self esteem will help you to heal and spend time in a healthy way.

Image 1 from here

Image 2 from here