A seven-step exercise to getting to know who you are behind the mask.

This blog post is going to be dedicated to talking about ourselves in an objective way. I think this is really important because the way you describe yourself objectively gives big clues to the way you think about yourself and how strong your sense of self-identity is. Who is the person behind the mask you present to the outside world?

What is this mask?
In the past when I have applied for jobs or studies, I have spent hours looking up on Google things like 'qualities desired in baristas'. Usually a long list will appear, looking something like:

• Team player
• Positive attitude
• Works well under pressure
• And the list goes on...

I believe that people would look up a list such as this for two main reasons:

1. They want to see if this type of job would be suitable for them.
2. They already want the job and now they need to memorise these things to show on a personal statement or at an interview that they are appropriate for the job. 

The first reason is very authentic and fits the job around the person. The second reason is learning how to adapt the outward mask the person fits on to get the things they think they want. The problem is that often behind the mask they actually do not know who they are. 

When you know yourself it is 100 times easier to nourish yourself and create the most fulfilling life ahead for yourself. It is a great feeling to be able to talk to someone about yourself and have a solid enough foundation to know whether a job or other situation is actually for you, and it helps you to take any rejection a lot less personally. 

How do I get to know who I am deep down?

This is a BIG question and takes some time. But there are things you can do to help you along the way. The main idea is to get to know as much as you can about yourself, and pay special attention when you do figure out these things. More things you can do will follow from this post because knowing one's own self identity is something I have a big passion for. One to start with is here:

1. Grab a pen and piece of paper.
2. Write about yourself as if you were looking at your life from the inside.
3. Focus on what you feel is most important to you in your life right now.
4. Use these questions for guidance. Expand if you feel you want to on any question:
1. Am I male or female or transgender? 
2. Am I currently in a relationship?
3. Do I have a job?
4. What do I want in life?
5. Which feelings come up for me most day-to-day?
6. Where can I most often be found?
5. Think of your own questions and continue writing until you feel you have written a good summary.
6. Repeat at various stages of your life because the things you like and dislike are symbols of who you are but will change. 
7. Look at the 'roots'. For example, if you are a student and you want to be a teacher, a core quality of yours might be creativity, growth or self development. See which general ideas fit to you and try and apply them to other things you like in your life. 

Image from here