Four Life-Changing Attitudes We Can Learn From Mandela

Nelson Mandela, 18th July 1918 - 5th December 2013, is a household name around the world, due to his role in the South African anti-apartheid revolution and the ANC, his 27 years in prison and later, his 5 years of presidency in South Africa. He had a wide impact on tackling racism, and is well known for his quote in Long Walk to Freedom (Mandela, available here):

"No none is born hating another person because of the colour of his skin, or his background, or his religion. People must learn to hate, and if they can learn to hate, they can be taught to love, for love comes more naturally to the human heart than its opposite".

In 2014 I was lucky enough to take a trip to Robben Island, Cape Town, where I saw his prison cell. I also watched the film Long Walk to Freedom, which taught me about his values in such a way that when I entered the corridor of his cell, it was a sad but also greatly inspirational experience. This is what I will write about today as a tribute to Mandela Day (the anniversary of his birthday). 

Attitudes which stand out to me when I think about Mandela:

• Prompting change without causing bloodshed
  
  When we look around in the world nowadays, many people are trying to change it. Terrorists, for example, who are trying to make impact by killing people. Mandela realised that violence was not the answer to prompting the changes he and others wanted to see.
  
  Though violence or outburst can be tempting when we feel trapped or angry with how things are, Mandela was mindful of those feelings and tried to find the best way to communicate them for change. This is something that can help us to step back and observe before we act.

• Forgiveness
  
  Mandela was well known for forgiving others. He made friends with wardens, saying that 'courageous people do not fear forgiving', because he recognised that holding resentment towards people is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die.
  
  In other words, holding resentments only harms you and is counterproductive. Being able to forgive frees you to take any actions you need to and live more peacefully.
  
• Faith
  
  A friend of Mandela, Fikile Bam, who was on Robben Island with him for ten years, said (on Mandela - available here):
  
  
  Although he had been sentenced to life imprisonment, he made it clear in all his being, that [it] was unlikely that he would finish all his time in prison ... It was, in fact, a condition of our survival in prison, to believe that we would win. The struggle would be successful in the end. We'd be out of prison during our life time.
  
  

  Faced with life in prison, many might or might feel temptation to give up, in a sense. Believing that you may one day leave and experience freedom is a very faithful belief, which promotes self improvement and improves self esteem. 

  
  

  In The Secret (available here), Rhonda Byrne insists that belief and faith in something you want will make it happen. Mandela definitely didn't read The Secret, but the similar way he chose to think helped him to endure and make the most of being in prison. 
• Kindness
  
  Ex prisoner Fikile Bam also wrote about Mandela's attitude towards prison warders:
  
  
  The one thing I can talk about is that he was always generally very polite courteous to warders. He greeted them, but at the same time, he didn't cow down to any warder at any level. He was just very courteous.
  
  

  We all have people in our lives who try to control us, whether it's to the extreme of a prison guard or not. Being kind to everyone, no matter their behaviour towards us (to an extent), shows a great level of tolerance. This tolerance is a reflection of an inner peace - that we accept and love ourselves unconditionally and are able to accept others in the same way.

Mandela's prison cell when I visited in 2014

Peering into his old prison cell on Robben Island, knowing his attitudes and ways of being, I felt the love and acceptance he felt towards every human there has ever been and will be. He not only helped to reduce racism, but he showed peace and integrity throughout his life that has inspired more change across the globe than he ever knew. 

My favourite powerful Mandela quotes:

• Education is the most powerful weapon which you can use to change the world.
• I learned that courage was not the absence of fear, but the triumph over it. The brave man is not he who does not feel afraid, but he who conquers that fear.
• It always seems impossible until it's done. 
• The greatest glory in living lies not in never falling, but in rising every time we fall. 
• If you want to make peace with your enemy, you have to work with your enemy. Then he becomes your partner.

Image from here

See You On Monday!

I am off on holiday to Blackpool this week and I decided not to take my laptop - so my next post will be on Monday. Take care and have a great week everyone! I'll leave you with this video of the rollercoaster I'll get to go on:

Why to Get Planning a Trip to your Local National Trust Property!

I was inspired to write this after visiting my local national trust property (Ightam Mote), which I visited today. I came away feeling really spiritually at peace, and began to wonder why that building has such an effect on me. 

So this is the building which has such a peaceful effect on me. It is set in beautiful gardens where I have visited a series of times over my life:

Through all the ups and downs in my life, this place has been preserved and has stayed exactly the same. The bricks on the walls surrounding the mote have kept the same texture, the creaky wooden floors inside the property have made the same sounds as my feet have walked across it, and the light shines in and creates shadows through the same windows. 

This timeless, unchanging aspect of the building reminds me of nature and why I find it grounding. No matter what is happening in my life or in my head, nature remains constant. It is extremely reliable, and the way I think and feel when looking at it changes but can always bring me back to my centre point. 

Nature is also generally very well-loved, and looking at the careful placement of flowers in gardens  reminds me of the amazingness of love. How it is always around in some capacity and can be sought out when needed. Walking around Ightam Mote, this same sense of love for the building can be detected as you go past light sensors, ’no touch’ signs and doting volunteers.

“We shape our buildings; thereafter they shape us.” 

- Winston Churchill

Interestingly, Churchill himself found Ightam Mote to be a spiritual retreat, and after going through a difficult time in his life he came to visit and painted this picture, which hangs at the property today:

So even though National Trust properties might remind you of boring days as a child, it might be spiritually refreshing to spend a while looking around one, on your own or with someone you love. If you’re lucky enough to live near Ightam Mote, even better!

Feel free to share and/or comment if you found this interesting or insightful :)

Image 1 from here

Ightam Mote's website here

EFT: The Releasing of Feelings

EFT stands for emotional freedom technique. It is hard to explain how it works but it is useful to give it a go if you are experiencing strong feelings in your body. This is something I was introduced to over two years ago and honestly don't use all that often, but tonight I gave it a go and I think I may do more often. 

I am also an advocate for feeling our feelings, so I use EFT more as a mindfulness technique. To feel the feeling in my body, ground myself through the tapping itself and also to practice self-love because I enjoy the feeling of treating myself. However, I'd encourage you to give it a go and see what meaning you can find in it for yourself :)

Give the video a watch here!

Why physical health is so important in mental health

Maslow in 1954 created a hierarchy of needs:

He claimed that in order to achieve a level on the pyramid you need to first fulfil the level below. For example, if you want to have true love and belonging in your life, first you need to have physiological wellbeing and safety.

This helps to explain why physical health is so important for us. Physical health includes:

• Breathing
• Food
• Water
• Sex
• Sleep
• Homeostasis
• Excretion

All of these need to happen before the above levels can happen. So you cannot have safety of your health if you are not allowing yourself adequate food and water.

This applies in every day decisions. Say you’re at work and you have a project to complete. You consider skipping lunch and having it later. Your ability to concentrate on the work will be compromised.

This leads to more issues further up the pyramid, especially if the physical need is neglected longer term. You might not have security of your job, feel love for it or feel a full sense of achievement there. These feelings could be there but would be dulled compared to how they could feel.

Treat your physical health as a priority: take a bottle of water with you to work, make sure you have enough to eat and sleep, etc., and everything else will follow: safety, love, esteem and even self-actualisation.

Find out more: http://www.simplypsychology.org/maslow.html

Image from: HiRes.jpg