So let me explain. Following creative ideas like blogging, taking photos, painting, e.t.c and sharing them (via social media or in person) usually takes a lot of bravery, as I've been reading about in Elizabeth Gilbert's Big Magic: Creative Living Beyond Fear (buy on Amazon here).
Questions come up, like 'will I be good enough?', 'will people think I'm rubbish?' but the question I want to focus on here is the following:
Will I be able to keep it up? Or will I be seen as a flake or failure?
So this worry is a barrier I've faced since I can remember. Worries that I'll start up something new, enjoy it and share it, then promptly lose interest and move onto something else. As if there is something wrong with that. Rationally, it doesn't seem like there is, but I want to explore it more.
I think it comes from core beliefs about identity. The belief goes as follows: successful creative people have one main interest. You don't see famous ballet dancers flitting between interests, after all. They are consistent: being this way helps them to improve, be known and be enjoyed.
However, these ideas can be damaging. We try to find something we are 'good at', or we might not see our creative outlets as valid. We might stop them, pursuing other things instead: recognition, success and perhaps money. We lose sight of what creativity is and our innate abilities to be creative.
And this is what my inner critic thrives on, like a parasite. If people start to associate me with my blog, why would I stop writing blog posts? Even if the inspiration is not there, my critical self wants me to be slaving away, churning out posts, even if it just doesn't sit right with my inner soul. I think this image is a great description of this process of forced creativity (from here):
The beauty of creativity comes from the fact that it is not forced. We leave space open for it, but it is hard to 'capture'. I leave thinking time for blog posts quite often - space for an idea to come to me. They come organically, as this one did, and not in a conveyor-belt fashion. Perhaps this is why painters produce their paintings over years, rather than the daily style of some blog sites.
In the top image, I drew a little mind-map, showing how creativity is a part of my core self. My expression of myself and the way I get that 'fire' inside, is by following creative hobbies. On the list, there are many things I enjoy, such as (but not limited to):
- Playing musical instruments.
- Sewing
- Crocheting
- Creative writing
- Drawing
- Painting
- Photography
I flit between these 'outlets' as frequently as my soul wishes. I will not stay bound to one when another one is calling. At the moment I have sewing and crochet projects on the go which I am enjoying, while photography is once again calling to me after a couple of years.
It takes courage to allow one creative outlet to lie low, as in the title of this blog post 'letting the flame lie low'. It doesn't mean that the fire is extinguished, never to be pursued again. It merely means the flame is alive, moving. To keep the flame alive is to allow it to move, and to let it lie low with certain outlets.
To remind yourself of this frequently, through the inner critic's jibes, is to allow yourself to be creative. And through this blogging medium I urge you to do this and keep your soul alive. If this becomes easier by sharing your work less frequently, so be it. Keep yourself glowing.
